Decision to Begin

The most difficult aspect of quarantine is pushing past the excuse to isolate. Face it, a stay-at-home order is my negative self's dream.  An excuse to not socialize, or work or deal with crowded stores. A justification to drown in depression, pain and self-pity while hiding under the guise of preventing illness. I'm not fooling myself, not one bit.  Boredom results in one of two things: trouble or productivity.  And so I embark on my personal adventure, a journey towards personal growth, conscious awareness and spiritual enlightenment. I will use this time to learn and strengthen my connection with myself and the rest of the universe. The foundation for my dream is being built, and I will achieve it, one step at a time. My world is based upon the purpose behind all my actions, the belief behind all my choices.  I choose pain, and I choose happiness.  My perception becomes my reality, and that reality is the driving force propelling me forward or holding me back.

Beginning My Journey

How do I even begin? How do I explain the years lost, the lives ruined, the supposedly harmless bullshit that slowly disintegrated my very existence piece by piece? And where do I begin to build up my life again? I've taken those first steps, laid the groundwork for the foundation. But now once again I leave behind the family I found, only to throw myself in the midst of the lion's den once more. Overwhelmed, lost, scared… can I really do this? Is this newfound strength a permanent aspect of my rewritten self? I believe I can, but my confidence has been misplaced in the past. Will I finally prove myself wrong, lay to rest the criticism placed upon me by those that doubted? Here I come, world. Clean, sober, killing it. I'm bound and determined to receive that 1 year tag in a week! And never let go…