Yesterday I had to face the possibility that I might not get you back. My darkest nightmare may become my reality. I'm shattered. Hollow. Destroyed. I feel as if I've lost you forever, my best friend, my little ride or die. My mind replays memories, overwhelming me with a flood of mental scenes and snippets of past conversations and adventures. I keep looking around for you, praying I'll wake up. Where is God in all this??? I cry out, begging Him to answer my pleas of desperation and grief. I can only imagine how terrified you are, wondering when I'll come back, when you can go home. I'm trying, I'm fighting with everything I possess. Don't give up, babygirl, please know that I'm doing anything and everything I can do to get you back in my arms. I'm nothing without you, you are my world. God made me your mama, He can't take you away from me now, not after everything we've been through. You've been my light, my inspiration for strength... you showed me the love and beauty in this world, the hope that is always possible. I love you with everything that I am, my Joyce, to the moon and back, to infinity and beyond.
Love, Mommy
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